I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
