Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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