I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
