Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
