Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
