she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She even gives head with a lisp.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
