What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
