are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
