She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My cat gives me a boner
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
