no, he came in my armpit
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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