Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
