tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
