Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
