I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
