didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
