i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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