maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
