i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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