We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
