Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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