i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
