I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
