he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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