what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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