Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
