The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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