Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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