party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
