Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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