ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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