im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
