there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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