May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
