His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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