Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize