Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
