A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
