Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
