I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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