Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
