It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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