my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
