Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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