My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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