it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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