I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize