i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
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We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize