Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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