god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
