omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
