I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
