ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
