we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
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The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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