no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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