I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
