Its about making memories worth repressing
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize