ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
